randomosity

there was once a little girl named jennie. (OR WAS IT?) she was in the 7th grade.
one day she looked at a story she wrote for school in 5th grade and realized that she was a much better writer in 5th grade than in 7th grade.
so she sat down at the computer, opened up notepad, and began to write. she wanted to write a story about her cat.
first she tried to write an adventure. nothing doing.
her mom asked her if she was still writing.
next she tried to write about her cat causing the space/time continuum to unravel. nothing doing.
her mom asked her if she was still writing and warned her not to get on the internet.
then she tried to write a romance, but realized that was pretty weird since she was writing about cats.
her mom asked her if she was still writing.
finally, she tried to write a cat's journal about an economical depression in 2009. it was stupid.
the little girl was frustrated, so she banged on the keyboard with her head.

fvgthbgyhnbjnjhmunhjbhbgbvvfcfdcdxfvgbfyh677ythjn78wqny78ovqqqq458701587nv p q5t8105710 bn84931067489q3tb89q36666666oqb849q0762bpalmt4ip346yblru3nf9f72wkdnd0q4hlz 9058jjjiepw4

the computer flashed in psychedelic colors. the little girl had a blackout seizure, and when she woke up, she saw:

"WARNING: PRESS THE BUTTON BELOW IMMEDIATELY OR THE SPACE/TIME CONTINUUM WILL UNRAVEL"

underneath was a pretty pink button that said:

"CLICK HERE TO UNRAVEL THE SPACE/TIME CONTINUUM"

yay... a pretty pink button. she clicked on the button.
a dialogue box came up:

"NOW INITIATING THE INFINITE IMPROBABILITY DRIVE. YOU'RE IN FOR IT."

she just had time to think, "hitchhiker's guide to the galaxy?" when it happened.

she was a walrus. she was a walrus made out of custard. her neighbor was a vice-cheesemaker candidate. she was in love with a fat taxidermist. her face popped off and rolled onto the floor. thoughts were spinning through her head unbidden at light-speed.

"THEY HAVE A CAVE TROLL ALL YOUR BASE ARE BELONG TO US I NEED A GOOD BIT OF ROPE GOD BLESS AMERICA I THINK THEREFORE I AM CLAY AIKEN IS GAY ---"

and the like. eventually everything stopped. she was a human again, her neighbor was a 30 year old that lives with his mom instead of a vice-cheesemaker candidate, she wasn't in love with a taxidermist, and she had a face.

there was a dialogue box on the computer.

"WAS THAT FUN? CLICK THE PUPPY FOR MORE."

the puppy was a cute yellow lab. the little girl immediately clicked it, and a nuclear bomb went off in a supermassive black hole and everyone died.

the end

***

the little girl sighed deeply in frustration.
WHY COULDN'T SHE WRITE ANY MORE?!
she banged her head on the keyboard.

fvgthbgyhnbjnjhmunhjbhbgbvvfcfdcdxfvgbfyh677ythjn78wqny78ovqqqq458701587nv p q5t8105710 bn84931067489q3tb89q36666666oqb849q0762bpalmt4ip346yblru3nf9f72wkdnd0q4hlz 9058jjjiepw4

"WARNING: PRESS THE BUTTON BELOW IMMEDIATELY OR THE SPACE/TIME CONTINUUM WILL UNRAVEL"

(THAT WAS HORRIBLE!)
fin